PEOPLE MAKE MISTAKES

That much we know, but how we handle situations when mistakes are made can be sincere and productive or it can be just another mistake that makes things far worse.

To avoid the "double mistake" of alienating the mistaken party try the following...

First, please remember that anger of the mistake will only make matters worse. You may be annoyed, disappointed or even downright mad, but you have to let it go because your anger over the situation will immediately erode your credibility and put others on the defensive.

A very enlightened friend of mind has this tag line at the bottom of his emails, which serves as a great reminder for all...

“Let nothing be an inconvenience to you, not even the smallest thing. It is in this that true life begins.”

Do yourself a favor and read that statement over as many times and for as many days as you need to let it soak into your attitude. Post it everywhere you go if necessary. Because when we look back upon our "inconveniences", none of them really matter in the grand scheme of things anyway.

SAM'S TRUCK

Everyone knows who Sam Walton was, but what few know is that Sam Walton drove an older model pickup truck and wore clothes from his stories long after Wal-Mart took off and made him a billionaire. To those who asked why he drove the "eyesore" when he had such wealth at his disposal, his answer was that his truck reminded him of where he came from and it still got him where he was going. (His other answer was "where am I supposed to put my dogs in a Rolls Royce?") Whether you liked him and what he stood for or not, Sam had his priorities straight.

Outward symbols of wealth are expected from society, but never a necessity for the truly wealthy individual. Our real wealth comes from within and is demonstrated in the actions of our hearts, not our possessions. 

HONOR DEFINED

Honor is defined many ways in the dictionary...

It is personal integrity.

It is strong moral character or strength.

It is an adherence to ethical principles.

It is respect and admiration.

It is reputation, dignity and a good name.

It is a source of pride to you and to others around you.

But most importantly...

Honor is a gift you give to yourself!

DO YOU REALLY WANT TO SAVE 10% TODAY?

One of the fastest ways to tank a credit score is to sign up for a department store charge card and use the card to take advantage of an instant discount.

This single, well-intentioned act can do a "quadruple whammy" to the score because such charge cards usually start with very low credit limits, so any purchases likely will result in a high ratio of balance to credit limit.

Next, the score drops because you have opened up a new line of credit and then again because of the department store's inquiry.

And to top it all off, the credit scoring system looks less favorably upon store charge cards, which give limited buying potential, than it does on major credit cards.

Instant savings is great but the long term cost can be downright painful!

COLLECTION CONUNDRUM

Another little known fact is that if a borrower pays off an old collection account, it updates to their credit report and once again becomes a recent event that is highly damaging to the credit score. For example, a collection account from the year 2000 that is paid off in December 2006 is re-scored in December 2006 by FICO as a very recent and detrimental entry to the score. So even though the account may show "paid in full", the recentness of the "delinquency" will hurt the score more than leaving the old unpaid account alone.

Therefore, while it's best to pay off very recent collections, and sometimes essential to loan approval, strictly from a credit-scoring perspective, it is quite often better not to pay off an old collection account and to let it drop off the credit report at the seven-year limit. 

This is why many experts feel that minor collection accounts unfairly drag down credit scores and undeservedly make people look like greater credit risks than they really are, especially those who pay off such accounts in good faith.

BOULDER BOLDER

Working on a loan that has no chance for approval. Trying to "fix" a person that refuses to help themselves. Wishing that you could be two places at once.

The above issues are all ones we would love to be able to resolve but there is no resolution.

The issues that you spend your time and energy on should be both important and improvable; otherwise you are just wasting precious time.

Consider the mythological story of Sisyphus, a very naughty figure who has punished for all of his misconduct by being doomed to the endless task of pushing a boulder up a hill. Just before he got to the top, he would inevitably lose hold and the boulder would roll back to the bottom of the hill. Then he would do it all over again and again and again. It was just a torturous death sentence.

His story is that of an image personifying vain labor and demonstrating that we should all avoid wasting time or even dwelling on un-winnable issues. 

So why approach our issues as if they were Sisyphus's boulder? The "boulders" are our own creations and the immovable ones will disappear if we just stop pushing.

WHO WANTS TO WIN THAT?

Another way to have more fun at work (and at home) is to stop competing and comparing yourself to those around you. Such comparisons do little but generate negative internal feelings, which are of no benefit to you whatsoever.

And while a little healthy competition is good, too many people tend to internalize secret competitions with their co-workers, friends and even family members. We size up their home, their car, their lifestyle and even their clothes and children. Meanwhile we torture ourselves inside with thoughts that we should be somehow be going just a little bit better than them.

Would your life be better if their car was repossessed, their child was in trouble or they had to move to a smaller home because of economic circumstances?

Would you be happier in the office if the number one producer in your office lost their best referral source? inside you might be thinking that you just gained some ground in your imaginary competition, but the reality is that your circumstances are completely unaffected by such events. 

So have ore fun this year by ending any "secret competitions" because your life and your work expectations should never be based on those of others. Base them on your own values because that's what truly matters. 

FINDING THE HUMOR

There are several ways to bring more healthy laughter into your life and to those around you. The first is to watch and listen to that which is funny. Whether it is movies, television or audio recordings, the world's comedy library is growing daily and exposing yourself to comedy is an easy way to get laughter into your life on demand.

But the best way to find more laughter is to simply stop being so serious and find the humor in your life. Rather than complaining about life's frustrations, try to laugh about them. Complaining doesn't do you any good anyway and it certainly won't impress whoever is on the receiving end.

If something is so frustrating or depressing it's ridiculous, realize that you could, should and probably will "look back on it and laugh." Think of how it will sound as a story you could tell to your friends, and then see if you can laugh about it now.

With this attitude, you may also find yourself being more lighthearted and giving yourself and those around you more to laugh about. Approach life in a more jovial way and you'll find you're less stressed about negative events, plus you'll achieve all the health benefits of laughter.

Another way to find more laughter is to simply fake it. Just as studies show the positive effects of smiling occur whether the smile is fake or real, faked laughter also provides the same benefits. So smile more often, and sometimes even fake it if need be. You'll still achieve positive effects, and the fake merriment will lead to many more real smiles and laughter.

THE GREATEST DISTRACTION

You've read it here and many other places before that it's not what happens to you in life, it's how you react to it that really matters and laughter is the best distraction there is from negative emotions like anger, guilt, and frustration.

Our responses to stressful events can be altered by whether we view something as a "threat" or a "challenge" and a little humor and a little less taking ourselves so seriously can lend a more lighthearted perspective and help us view events as mere "challenges", making them less threatening and far more positive.

And laughter connects in an undeniably positive fashion with others. As they say laughter is contagious, so if you bring more laughter into your life, you can most likely help others around you to laugh more, and realize the benefits, too. By elevating the mood of those around you, you can reduce their stress levels and improve the quality of social interaction you experience with them. But we can't all be comedians, so how do we laugh more and cause others to laugh?

To be continued...

LAUGH FOR LIFE

A recent study showed that pre-school aged children laugh up to 400 times a day, but by the time we reach adulthood, the average person laughs only 17 times per day on average.

This, my friends is a laughing matter!

Laughter is indeed one of the greatest medicines known to mankind and a fantastic way to enjoy yourself more at work. The health benefits of laughter include strengthening the immune system, increasing our threshold for pain, more rapid healing and even reducing food cravings. Not to mention what laughter can do to reduce stress and enhance both our personal and business relationships.

Laughing is also a great physical and emotional release as we experience the renewed and refreshed feeling after a good laugh. Plus a good chuckle exercises the diaphragm, contracts the abs and even works out the shoulders, leaving muscles more relaxed afterward and it even provides a good mini workout for the heart. Can you think of a more fun way to get a little exercise?

BREATHE DEEP

We all experience some forms of stress and upset in an ordinary day and how we respond to them define us as a person and a co-worker. Some people can shake it off and move on without interruption, but for most mortals, when something really upsets us, we need a little time to cool off and relax.

In order to rapidly cool down, nothing works better than deep breathing.

But simply taking a few deep breaths won't usually make you feel much better because you have a very little chance of taking a few really good deep breaths while in a distressed state. 

To do it right you need only a few minutes and here's how...

Close your eyes. Put your feet flat on the floor. Sit with your spine straight. Place your hand on your stomach. Inhale slowly to the count of six. Feel the air inflate your rib cage. Relax your chest and lower your shoulders. Hold for at least two seconds in the fully inflated state. Slowly exhale to the count of six. Think or say a happy word as you exhale. Feel your hand sink closer to your spine. Let the tension out of your neck and shoulders. Repeat five or more times. By using this technique you will find a whole new outlook on work and life within just a few minutes.